Facing the Future by Learning the Past

Realness Is the harshness of living

Sometimes you need to taste that bitterness

Even when you’d rather retch

Sometimes you have to feel that heartache

Even though your not there yet

And the road was yesterday’s

And you coughed in the face of darkness

When you felt it in your feet

You knew you had to slide to get up

It was the inertia that spoke in its movement

“I can’t stay down for long  I need to stretch”

That’s been the mantra for many years

This kind of burden that lays heavy on my head

Is the hardest to break free

I hurt from the inside out

My skin is breaking off

In the worst case of identity I’ve seen

I’m not connected anymore

I am floating too free in this reality

For far too long

And I should be feeling more than I do

Where did my skin go

It’s been broken here beside me

I see myself lying there

But I will not go to her

I just watch her crumble and flail

What harshness is that

That stands into the divide

The one that deals up in shadows

From those that shine

That defines realness

In the harshest of the lights

And casts the depths into her hollows

I see her but somehow

She seems too new and then seemingly familiar

All at once

Magnets suck you dry

Everything is drawn to the magnet

So while you cling on to everything you know

To keep it the sameYour weight is not any challenge

To the pull of its power

"Facing The Future Learning The Past" 10"x14"  Acrylic on Birch

 

Your weight in all you knew and all you grew

Is being used against you

Propelling you into the direction of the cursed

And that was her problem

She was drawn and renamed

And then lay a shell by the side of the road

While her mind watched on.

That inertia was not the fall but actually the pull

And had I known that

I wouldn’t have relegated myself

Into its view

I would have had the strength

To use that to Power on past

Now I have to surrender to its pull

And hover under its magnifier

Now I must lose myself in its heat

And somehow be free

Free from this confinement

And this torment that continues

To haunt me and reduce me to the harshness

And the brutal fine point

Of that glaring light

Why the enjoyment

She asks the one

Lurking in the divide

Well he smiles widely

Why not

When I am neither

In the light nor in the dark

But indescribable

Not here nor there

And yet I find you there

And you can do nothing

But perform

But

She says I’m not used to this march

And this drum beat is not mine

Can you explain

Why I’m marching

Because he says

You are merely a shell

And your soul has separated

See her over there?

She looks

He says

She’s connected to the better place

LauraLee K. Harris

 

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